Family Feud or What’s Your Price Tag

This morning I was reading the paper and the headline popped out about two sisters fighting over lottery winnings. The article in the paper stated the amount of money was $500,000, and the sister didn’t want to share. They were both elderly and even if they live to be 100, chances of them living to spend it all are small. The article goes on to say that before this they had a wonderful relationship.
I find this scenario too often in my Case Management practice. I come in as a liaison hoping to, as one might say, mend the fences. When you get down to it, the major cause of all the problems is always “the money.” Last night, I thought I had an opportunity to help a wonderful family and their mother. I met with the client and had a good rapport and response from her. I was so optimistic until I received that call. All that I had started and was going to be able to do for the mother was now at a standstill; with the patient losing out on the assistance I could provide for her. Again it came down to the finances. There were two sons involved. One son wanted what was best for their mother. The son who held Power of Attorney did not want to discuss any options which would use the mother’s finances.
Sometimes the money may be a lot. Sometimes it may run out in a few years. I understand the need to budget with the economy as is it is today, but family is forever. Maybe someone can tell me why we don’t want to share. I see this more and more and I don’t understand. I think it is a shame to see families; mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, and brothers and sisters not speaking to each other because nobody wants to share their toys or somebody wants it all.
Why am I writing this? I am writing because hopefully when planning your future, making arrangements in your will for your relatives, family or friends think hard about how money can change a relationship. It’s simple; try to think about what is fair. Fair to me is always splitting it down the middle. If you can’t or don’t want to do this for various reasons then talk about it, talk about it within the family. Tell them why you are doing things a certain way so everyone is comfortable. There may have been favors done in life that compensate for the lack of monetary bequeaths at the end. So if you pass on and the heirs are left behind and one person gets $1,000 and one gets $100 there will hopefully be no hard feelings.
So, think about it, watch Family Feud, don’t play it and Let’s Talk.